He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
