Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
