FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
you never un-have a 4some
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
