she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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