as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
