ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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