Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
