So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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