Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
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