$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
