Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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