I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
