Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
