the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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