just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
