Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
