Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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