A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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