I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Plan B is the new Plan A
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
