Cold hands, warm shart.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
