At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
