Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
the liver wants what the liver wants
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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