You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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