So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
