worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
