My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Who died my cat blue again?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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