so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
