Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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