he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
