Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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