You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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