You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
