i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
