We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
