i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
