you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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