Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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