she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
