Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
