I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
