my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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