his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
