I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
