At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Who died my cat blue again?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
