it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
