Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
