Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
