Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
