Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
