so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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