If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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