Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
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