So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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