Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
She's the barista slut.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
